| It's so hard to get on this computer these days. Mom rushes me to what I need to do and barely lets me do what I want to do. I've gotten away with some eBay things, but I have so much to talk about with my dieting and Tyler that it takes up too much time and keeps me from doing what I want to do online.
So I think Tyler likes me. Who knows... story goes: I went to work and just acted cool. Seriously, I didn't try to impress him; I just wanted to act like his friend. Worked out VERY well! There's a new girl at work, Melissa. I’ve talked to her a lot since she started working and while I was at a counter and she was waiting for an open counter, Tyler came to talk to her. I saw them talking and then I saw them look over at me! Tyler left and I motioned Melissa to be my bagger helper, and then I asked her if they were talking about me. She said, “Yeah, Tyler asked, ‘Do you know Holly?’ And I said, ‘Yes.’ Then, he got distracted and talked to someone else about skateboarding.” I said, “Oh yeah, you talking about me behind my back?” She said, “Ha ha no, but I think he likes you.” Oh my God, I was pleased to hear that. It’s the fact that he talked about me to someone else. He asked someone else if they knew me, and I assume that means something good that he’d talk about me when I’m not around. From 2:30 to 7 at work, he came to talk to me just as many times as I went to talk to him. He came to me often, always tapping my shoulder and just coming up to my cart to talk/flirt. (He’s so cute!) He even asked me if I was going to the swim meet on Tuesday. I went to the swim meets last Tuesday and Friday and watched my brother dive and Tyler swim. I guess he wants to see me there! Honestly, I think he really digs me in a friend kind of way. I’ll build it up with him to reach a relationship status eventually.
I wish I could remember everything that has happened in the last week but like I’ve said, I can’t use the computer as often as I like because of my crazy mother.
Steve (remember Steve? I was infatuated with him at work a while back.) has been flirting with me too. He knew that I liked him, so he treated me different at work. For example, he talked to me first by giving me a friendly shove and saying, “Hey Holly. ‘Sup?” It was cool, but now he’s trying to get on my good side all of a sudden. He always trying to talk to me and shit. It’s funny, but I don’t like him like that anymore so I don’t know what he’s trying.
Wish I could write more about Tyler but I know you want to know about my weight loss. I purged for the first time in about 3/4 days. I’ve been snacking a lot and it keeps my stomach empty. I exercised this morning before breakfast, and I felt really good about it until I had a lot to eat later today. Gross, gross, gross. No more b/p though. Now I’m restricting excessively.
Bottom line: Tyler stuff … going great. He might like me because I’m so different and I try not to treat him like I like him, but I may have to put the flirting into effect soon before he thinks of me as only a friend. Who knows, I think he likes me. We talked A LOT at work and it was mutual, so maybe things are going well. He really got me into Jack Johnson too! I’m thinking that for his hardest final (since the seniors end the school year early) I’ll send him a “care package” with a bunch of Jack Johnson stuff like a poster and DVD with a card that says, “I’m thinking of you!” I want to spoil him so much! He is so adorable and so nice! How did I score this guy? OMG, I can’t stress how great he is! I know he likes me whether or not it’s in a romantic way or not. It’s evident that we are friends because he does talk about me in a nice way when I’m not around. I don’t have to be jealous if he’s with other girls at school because to him, I’m still a good friend to him! It's frustrating that I can't tell you everything that happened because I can't remember it all. That's a good thing because if I don't make it a big deal, it means that I don't treat it like one which lets me act natural and not like a crazy, stupid, flirtatious girl who focuses on everything when she talks to her crush. Get it? The fact that I don't remember what we talked about means that I'm doing a good job of not faking it around him when we talk. I <3 him. If I don't focus on what I'm doing with my hands, what my clothes look like, and how I talk to him makes him think that I'm confident and that is probably a big change from the girls he hangs out with at school. Basically, they're HO BAGS!
He's so romantic. Tries to show off to me by telling me what Jack Johnson tabs he can play... gives me gum and says that he's giving it to me in return for all the rides I give him to swim practice... is always asking me how I'm doing and he does it quite often!... we laugh a lot together :) ... we just have a good time. I have never had more confidence in myself. I think I'm beautiful when I look in a mirror and just thinking of him makes me want to be a better person and stop doing this ana/mia thing. I'll leave it at that.
Apparently, Tyler says that this is a picture of him doing the butterfly stroke: http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=36522624&imageID=687622284&Mytoken=634EFDC0-1158-E7D7-BD3F15A86DB5DE8A51517076
He calls himself the "future Jack Johnson"
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